The Opposite Sex
by The Steel Angel
Summary: Crayak and the Ellimist decide to play a little game on the side... but will it spell doom for Jake and the others?
1. Default Chapter

**The Opposite Sex**   
**By The Steel Angel**

  
  
  
  


**_Authors Notes - The inspiration for this fic is of unknown origin. Call it a dream, maybe. Let me know if it works out!_**   
  
  


"I still don't see what this accomplishes." The Ellimist said, looking down at the tiny speck of blue, suspended in the blackness of outer space. Earth, of course. He was in his old man guise, floating non chalantly amongst the stars. The other being laughed. He appeared as a middle aged man with dark black hair, eyes, and a business suit that was blacker than the backdrop of space. Crayak.   
"Tell me, Ellimist. What is the purpose of the games that humans play?" He asked. Of course, neither the Ellimist or Crayak were actually there. They were lightyears apart, and only together now because of a strange simulation of both of themselves.   
"They play games for fun, Crayak. You know this." The Ellimist said. He'd never say it, but he was becoming intrigued by Crayak's strange proposition. Crayak laughed.   
"Of course I do. But we also play a game. A game that cannot be fathomed by the minds of lesser beings, but a game none the less. What is the point of playing a game if no satisfaction comes out of it?" Crayak demanded. The Ellimist looked over at him, but he didn't see the man appearing before him. Yes, he saw the man physically, but he only saw Crayak as Crayak truly was. A planet sized beast with no morals or compassion.   
"What satisfaction could possibly be gained? This experiment will neither hurt nor help them." The Ellimist said.   
"I beg to differ, Ellimist." Crayak said, and put his hands behind his back. He paced back and forth as he explained. "With their leadership in the hands of a female, they're doomed to fail, no matter what the circumstances." Crayak said simply, and looked back at the Ellimist.   
"So that's what this is about. Just another plan to try and wipe them out." The Ellimist said.   
"What else? Why else do we play this game of ours?" Crayak said. "So do we have a deal?"   
"Under one condition. I want to keep the memories of the leader intact. Unaffected by the change." The Ellimist said. Crayak's eyes went wide. The fire was there. The Ellimist had caught the one flaw in his plan. He curled his humanoid lips into a smile.   
"It shall be done. And we shall see who is right, Ellimist." Crayak said. The Ellimist nodded, and dissapeared. Crayak dissapeared also, and translated back into his real, physical self. His blood red eye pulsed. "We'll see, if Jake can survive this one."   


  


*** 

  
  


"Honey! Time to get up!" A voice called. My mother, of course. I opened one eye, and looked down at my watch. Six thirty in the morning. I groaned, and covered myself totally with the blankets on my bed. Approximately three minutes later, the blankets were ripped away from me. "Get up, Jade. You're going to be late for school." My mom said. I groaned again.   
"No..." I said, then jumped about five feet up in the air. What was wrong with my voice?!   
"Jade, what is the matter with you?" My mom asked. Did she say Jade? Why'd she say Jade? I don't ever remember my mother pronouncing K's like D's... I ran over to my bathroom, and slammed the door, locking it. I stared into the mirror.   
Long brown hair.   
Thin, hairless arms   
Painted fingernails.   
BREASTS?!?!?!?!   
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed.   
"Jade? Jade? Are you okay, sweetheart?" My mom called from my room. I calmed down instantly. Okay, this HAD to be a dream. I walked out of my bathroom with a dazed look on my face. "Jade, what happened?" Mom asked me.   
"I uh... um... saw a roach." I lied. Mom smiled, and hugged me. I hugged back, still seriously freaked.   
"Well, go get dressed, and come downstairs for breakfast." Mom said, and walked out of my room, shutting the door behind her.   
Dressed?   
I walked over to my closet, and pulled the sliding door open. Dresses, dresses, dresses! I shut the door, and walked over to my dresser. First drawer is supposed to be my shorts. I pull the drawer... Skirts! Second drawer! Bra's! Third drawer! Panties! How the hell was I supposed to get dressed?! "Wait... girls are SUPPOSED to wear this junk. I'd look like a freak if I showed up at school wearing a t-shirt and baggy shorts. I grabbed the first things I saw, and walked back into the bathroom. I pulled off the nightgown I was wearing, to reveal a black leotard.   
Morphing suit.   
I quickly took off the leotard. Mistake number one of the day. A female body with a male mind does not mix well.   
"W...wow..." I said, gulped, and quickly put on the pair of panties that I had grabbed. Then I stared down at the article of clothing that has eluded man since its creation. The bra. I held it up, looking at all the straps and hooks, and other straps that I had no idea what their purpose was. "Jesus christ..." I muttered, and tried my best to put it on.   
About twenty minutes of using both mirrors in my bathroom to see my back, and manuvering the hooks into place, I finally had the damn thing on. I put on the lowcut black spaghetti strap top, and the neon pink miniskirt, and walked back into my room. I put on my socks and shoes, and made my way downstairs. I grabbed my school folder, which, even as a girl, I seemed to leave on the living room table, and walked into the kitchen.   
"Well, you blew breakfast. If you don't hurry up, you'll be late." Mom said. I hugged her.   
"See you later. Bye dad." I said, and walked toward the door.   
"No kiss for me?" Dad asked. I cringed, and cursed myself. I didn't want to seem out of place, so I walked over, and gave my dad a kiss on the cheek. He kissed me back on the cheek.   
"See you tonight, honey." He said. I smiled cutely, and nearly ran out of the house.   
"Honey? Blech!" I yelled. This was too weird. I was still hoping to wake up, when I was joined by another girl on the street.   
"Hey Jade, what's your problem? Stop walking so fast!" She yelled. I turned around. She was shorter than me, and looked spanish. She hand long black hair, and dark eyes, and....   
"Marco?! You too?!" I gasped.   
"Marco? Are you feeling okay? It's me, Marcy." She said. It was Marco... he and I always walked to school together. I was seriously starting to get freaked. What if everyone I knew had swapped genders? There was no logical explination for this. Unless....   
"Visser Three..." I growled.   
"Shh!" Marcy hissed, and slapped my arm, then looked at a few other kids walking down the street. "Shut up, you idiot! Why not just announce to the world that we're Animorphs?" She said. Okay, I don't know whether that was good or bad. I felt the sting of her slap, which means I wasn't dreaming. But it did mean, that I really WAS a girl.   
"Marco, what's happened to us?" I asked, as I stopped walking. Marcy turned to look at me, and cocked her head to the side, giving me a confused look.   
"Nothing is happening to us... you're just acting weird." She said, and continued walking. I ran to catch up. If Marco and I had flipped genders.... then what about the rest of us? I shivered at the thought. "What's the matter with you, anyway?" Marcy asked as we neared the school.   
"Hm? Oh... just a weird dream, I guess." I said.   
"What about?" Marcy asked.   
"I dreamed that I was a boy." I said. Marcy burst out laughing. But it made me think... what if my entire life HAD just been a dream? What if I really WAS a girl? No, that was impossible.   
"You have a twisted sense of humor. And your subconscious is even funnier." Marcy said, and walked into the school. Immediately, I realized that I recognized no one. Of course, I thought. They've all switched genders too. I walked to my locker. It seemed a bit higher up than it usually was, or maybe it was because I was shorter. I opened my locker, and put my books inside.   
"Meeting later today." A deep voice said.   
"Huh?" I looked to my right. A boy was leaning against the locker directly to the right of mine. He had short blond hair, and piercing blue eyes. He was tall, and looked very heavily muscled.   
"I said meeting, Jade. Tanya's got something she wants to tell us." He said.   
"Ugh, I hate getting news from the bird-girl." Marcy said. She looked over at the boy. "When did you find this out, Hercules?" She asked. That immediately erased any doubt as to who it was standing next to me. Rachel's male form. And Tanya had to be Tobias.   
"This morning. We went for an early morning fly." He said.   
"Geez, Ruocco. How close are you gonna get to her?" Marcy asked. Ruocco?   
"None of your business, small fry." Ruocco said, and walked away. I slammed by locker shut, then banged my head on it.   
"It's finally happened. I lost it. I've gone insane. I'm not at school, I'm in some nut house with a straight-jacket on, and surrounded by padded walls. Dripping IV's in the corner, and a big indian guy for a roommate..." I said, banging my head again.   
"You had better not lose it. Something tells me that something big is coming up, and we need you most of all. We can't have our leader freaking out like some normal girl who's just seen a roach." Marcy said. So, I was still the leader. This was all too much to bear.   
"Hey sweetheart." Another male voice said. Marcy winked, and looked at me.   
"I'll leave you two alone." She said, winked again, and left. What was she doing? I turned around, to find myself face to face with a boy a few inches taller than me. Dark skin, short dark hair, dark eyes.... Cassie?   
"You didn't call last night." He said, and put his hands on my waist, looking into my eyes lovingly.   
"C...Cassie?!" I blurted. He looked at me strangely.   
"Casey." He said, and kissed me on the lips softly. I stared at him for a few seconds, then passed out.   


***   


"By making sure that the leader's memories stay intact, you've already assured their defeat. He will become so confused at this new reality, that he will not be able to lead effectively." Crayak said. The Ellimist just folded his hands together, and opened his eyes, staring straight into Crayak's.   
"An hour into it, and already you've deduced that Jake will falter? How naive of you. I thought you knew Jake better than that. He will soon cope with this new reality, and find a way to surpass the odds." He said.   
"Then let us continue, and see which one of us is right." Crayak said.   
"I would like nothing better, Crayak."   


**End Chapter One**


	2. Internal Struggle

**The Opposite Sex**   
**By The Steel Angel**   
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**Chapter Two**   
**~Internal Struggle~**   
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"Jade, are you okay? Jade?" A voice said. I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. Oh yeah, I thought. I'm Jade. I opened my eyes to find a boy staring down at me. "Are you okay? You just... collapsed." He said. I sat up, rubbing my eyes.   
"I'm fine, Cass...Casey." I said. The last thing I wanted to do was convince all of my friends that I was a psychotic. I was obviously the only person that noticed that everything was out of place. I was the only one who knew that anything was wrong... so I'd have to be the one to fix it. I wish I had a clue how.   
"You've been out of it all day. School's just about over," Casey said, one of his hands lingering on my shoulder. "The meeting isn't until six. Ash doesn't like the heat." Casey said with a smirk. Ash? Must be Ax. "I thought we'd hang out at the the beach until then," He said. Beach? I liked the beach. Maybe I could convince Casey that he was supposed to be Cassie... Well, I could at least explain to him that things were screwed up.   
"Um, sure. Why not?" I said. Casey smiled.   
"Great. I'll swing by your house in twenty." He said, and kissed me on the cheek. _Don't puke, Jake,_ I ordered myself. I smiled, and took foot. My house was only a few blocks down from the school, so it only took me about five minutes to get home. I shuffled up to my room, and opened one of my drawers. My bathing suit was gone. Perfect.   
"Mom!!!" I yelled.   
"Yes, sweety?" She called back. Sweety. Yuck.   
"My bathing suit is gone!" I yelled again.   
"I just washed it, honey!" She yelled back. I sighed, and made the seemingly endless walk downstairs, and to the laundry room, where my mom was holding out a Ruby Red bikini. I stopped dead in my tracks.   
"What... is that?" I asked. My mother looked at me strangely.   
"It's your bathing suit, sweet heart." She said, and handed me the two impossibly tiny pieces of nothing. No way in hell would this fit! I walked back upstairs, examining the bikini. So, I was a size two. Was that good? I closed the bathroom door behind me, and looked at my watch. Casey would be here in ten minutes.   
"Now, to put this on..." I said, and took my shirt off. I positioned myself between the front and side mirror, and quickly unhooked my bra. I blinked, staring at the two pale white globes on my chest. I blushed, and looked away. "Sheesh, I can't believe I'm thinking about my own body this way," I muttered to no one. Thoughts of sexuality flooded my mind, as I struggled to put on the bikini top. I still had the mind of Jake Berenson, a male. But I had the body and hormones of Jade Berenson. A female. What gender was I attracted to? Physically, I was attracted to men. I learned that really fast from Casey's kiss. But mentally, it made me want to throw up. Was I a mental lesbian?   
Other thoughts rushed through my mind. Why was I like this? Could the Yeerks logically be behind it? No, if it was the Yeerks, I'd be a controller by now. They've got nothing to gain by playing mind games with me. And then, and even more sickening thought. Was this the handiwork of the Ellimist? What point did he have? I shook my head, and pulled the bikini bottoms into place. How I managed to do it without looking is a mystery to me. I put back on my normal clothes, over the bikini, before something hit me: Where was my morphing suit? I know I hadn't taken a leotard off... Oh well. I'd worry about that later. one crisis at a time, Jake.   
I grabbed a handbacg, and tossed a few things inside. A change of clothes, a towel, a book, and sunscreen. I even tossed in a hairbrush, just to look convincing. I looked over at my nightstand, and saw a pair of sunglasses. "Why not?" I said, and put them on. I flipped my long auburn hair over my left shoulder, and flipped my towel over my right shoulder, and looked at myself in the mirror. Wow, I thought. I'm a babe. Immediately, I jumped back. "Okay, Jake. Don't start fantasizing about your own body.. It can't be healthy." I said, just as the doorbell rang. "Must be Cass...Casey." I said, and walked downstairs a few minutes later. Casey was waiting in the living room, wearing only a t-shirt, board shorts, and sandals. My mom must have let him in.   
"About time. How long does it take to put on a bathing suit?" He asked. A long time when you're in my present situation! I wanted to scream.   
"A girl has to look good." I said, hoping he'd buy it. He did.   
"I wouldn't change a thing." He said with a slight chuckle, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I suppressed my internal shudder, and walked outside with him.   
It was hot out, which was to be expected in September in Southern California. Not nearly as hot as the hell we'd had to endure two months earlier in July, but not nearly the paradise we'd get in early November. So it wasn't that unusual for teenagers to spend countless hours at the ocean's side during the first few months of school. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as we set foot on the beach. I took my sandals off. The sand was warm. As I looked down, I noticed that my toenails were painted bright red, as were my fingernails.   
"Is something wrong, Jade?" Casey asked. I heard the same tone of concern and caring in his voice that I was so used to hearing in Cassie's voice.   
"Have you ever had the feeling..." I said, looking into his eyes. "That something was wrong? That things aren't supposed to be this way?" I asked, choosing my words carefully.   
"Jade, what happened to you?" Casey asked. He was worried now. I sighed, and took a deep breath.   
"I'm not supposed to be a-" I began, but was cut off by a thought speak voice.   
Pardon me, Prince Jade and Casey. but Tanya has requested that inform you both about an emergency meeting at Casey's barn. Marcy and Ruocco say that it is urgent. > A feminine voice said. Marcy was Marco, Ruocco was Rachel, Tanya must be Tobias...   
"We'll be there in a minute, Ash." Casey said. Ash was Ax. Right. Casey turned back to me. "Those rocks over there should give some good cover." Casey said. In an instant, I was back in leader mode.   
"Yeah, seagull would be best. No one would think twice about two gulls flying near the ocean." I said. As I ran toward the rocks with Casey right behind me, I couldn't help but think, _Jake, this is gonna be a loooooong day...._


	3. Politics Oy

**The Opposite Sex**   
**By The Steel Angel**   
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**Chapter Three**   
**Politics... Oy**   
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The morphing went as smooth as it could, considering the fact that I was changing from a five and three quarter foot human girl into a foot tall seagull. Still, I was relieved to be out of the body, even for the twenty minute flight to Casey's barn. It looked no different than usual, as I folded my wings and shot into the barn. I flared my wings expertly at the last moment, and perched on the railing to one of the horse stables. I demorphed quickly.   
"Hubba Hubba. I never knew my cousin was such a babe." Ruocco said. I rolled my eyes, only then realizing that I was still only wearing a bikini. Marcy tossed me a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. Good, at least I still kept a change of clothes here in the barn. I put them on.   
"Now, what's up?" I asked. Marcy handed me a newspaper. The newly elected president Bush was on the front page. I read the first sentence slowly. "President Bush to present award and grant to 'The Sharing' for excellent community service and outreach to youth." I read.   
"Yeerks?" Casey asked.   
I'm not so sure. This might be genuine, seeing as The Sharing projects the facade of being a saintly youth group. > Tanya said from up in the rafters.   
I beg to differ, > Ash said, stepping out from behind one of the stables. She stood on four slender legs, and was covered by a coat of shiny purple fur. She looked sleeker, faster, more agile than a male Andalite. Her tail though, was much more narrow and smaller, than the great blade that Ax had. I have followed this latest excercise of democratic selection very closely. I do believe, that it was theoretically impossible for this George W. Bush to obtain the electoral votes, which of course, is essentially flawed, from the state of Florida. > She said. Marcy nodded.   
"Impossible in an honeast election anyway." She said, then looked at me. "Tell me, Jade. Who governs the state of Florida?" Marcy asked. me. I didn't know. Ruocco provided the answer for me.   
"Jeb Bush." He said. The wheels started to turn in my head. "Isn't it strange, that the election was decided by the one state in which the presidential canidate's brother happens to govern? Not to mention the fact that Florida has a very sizable jewish community who would have block voted for Gore and Liberman." He said.   
"You're saying that Bush rigged the election?" Casey asked.   
"Bingo." Marcy said.   
"So he rigs the election, becomes president, and gives a grant to the Sharing. Coincidence?" Casey asked.   
"There's no such thing as a coincidence." I said softly.   
"But how do we know for sure that he's a controller?" Casey asked.   
"Because Bush is a staunch Republican, just like my dad." Marcy said. "He's always on the right side of things. Death penalty, drug use, abortion, gun control, all republican views. Since when does a republican like that give such a large grant to a social group like The Sharing?" She asked.   
"This is bad," I said after a few minutes of silence.   
"No kidding. This is beyond bad. The leader of the free world is a controller. Nothing major." Ruocco said.   
"The question is, what do we do about it?" Casey asked.   
There's only one thing we can do. Starve that Yeerk out of the President's head. > Tanya said.   
"Easier said than done," I said dryly.   
"The President is flying out here to present the grant personally, the day after tomorrow. We'll nab him then." Ruocco said.   
"Do you know where the meeting is going to be?" Casey asked.   
"San Diego." I said suddenly. It finally clicked in my head. "It's going to be in San Diego." I said. Ruocco looked skeptical.   
"How do you know?" He asked me. I turned to face him.   
"My bro- Sister, has been talking about some big, national step that The Sharing will be taking soon. This has gotta be it." I said. And it was true, Tom HAD been talking about a "national step" for weeks.   
"Simple enough. Two days from now... Wednesday. We'll get the Chee to cover for us at school and at home. Then we'll hitch a ride with your sister to San Diego. When we get there, we'll nab G-Dub, force the Yeerk out of his head, and go public. Nothing to it." Marcy said.   
"Well, when you put it like that..." Casey said sarcastically.   
"Let's do it." Ruocco said. I smiled. Some things are unchangible.   
"Well then. Everyone go home, and get some rest. We'll try to make tomorrow as normal as possible." I said as I looked down at my watch. The date caught my eye. I wouldn't give it any thought until later. Today was September tenth, 2001.   
  
  


***   
  
  


The next day, everything went crazy. My family, friends, and I, stuck on the West Coast, watched the news helplessly as the World Trade Center in New York, and the Pentagon in Washington DC, were gutted by passenger airliners. No way was this coincidental, I thought. This was a deliberate attack on American soil. Of course, this put me and the others in an even more depressed mood. Not only were we fighting off an alien invasion, we had to worry about other countries as well?   
I snapped out of my delirium when my cell phone rang. I picked it up. "Hello?"   
"Bad news." It was Ruocco.   
"What now?" I asked. I was so NOT in the mood for more bad news.   
"Mr. P. cancelled the banquet tomorrow, for obvious reasons." He said. I groaned.   
"Did he reschedule?" I asked.   
"Not as of now. Marcy said that the Yeerks were behind the World Trade Center attacks, just to give the President an excuse to not come to Southern California." He said. I sighed.   
"Well, either we hop a plane to DC and take care of the president there, which is physically impossible, since there are no planes in the sky right now, and the fact that the president is under even tighter security than normal. Or we can postpone the mission until we get something to work with." I said.   
"I'll call the others." Ruocco said, and hung up the phone. One bad thing leads to others, I suppose. On top of trying to figure out how to save the President of the United States from alien control... I WAS STILL A GIRL!!!   


**_To Be Continued..._**


	4. Autumn

The Opposite Sex   
By The Steel Angel

Authors Notes - I know I haven't worked on this fic in forever, but now that I'm out of highschool, and things have settled down a bit, I'm ready to jump back into this seemingly popular adventure. I hope you enjoy the following chapters!

Chapter Four   
-Autumn-

Like an insatiable fire, or an unstoppable flood, autumn gradually replaced Summer. Autumn's legacy this year was a strong one, granted the Terror attacks on the World Trade Center towers. Everything seemed tainted after that. School, family functions, even our own meetings.   
The Chee were coming up empty, which meant that the Yeerks had gone deep, deep underground. They were planning something big, that I was sure of. The Yeerks aren't the type to cut themselves off from their own people if nothing big was going on. There'd been no missions since before Autumn actually began, and we were going on a month. I should have been happy for the time off, but I was still immersed in my own personal crisis.   
As much as I hated it, I was gradually getting used to being a girl. Through sheer willpower and determination, I was finally able to look at myself naked in the mirror, and not blush. That's not to say that I still didn't hate this body, and all of its damn quirks. I thought that I had some fatal disease when I had my first period.   
I was finally able to tolerate that my friends too, had changed. Not so much mentally, but physically. It was a hard thing to accept. Kiss all your social norms goodbye. I still didn't have the willpower to confront one of the others and tell them that this isn't the way it was supposed to be. Not even Casey. I wasn't sure that any of the group would react too well. They'd probably think that I'd gone nuts.   
Another possibility had crept into my mind. The harsh reality that I might never get back to the way I was. I didn't know how I got here in the first place, so how could I know how to return? If I said something about it, it could taint these "new" friendships for life.   
For life.   
I stepped into the bathroom, the cold tile under my feet. I closed the door behind me. The shower was already on, as I'd turned it on some five minutes earlier, like I always did. I never stepped into the shower without a layer of steam touching the ceiling. I slipped off the red blouse I was wearing, and slide down the matching red skirt non chalantly. Even now, I still hesitated to get undressed, but I couldn't very well not bathe, could I?   
I slid one hand up my back and unhooked my bra. If there was one positive thing about this experience, it was that I had finally mastered bra removal like no other man could hope to achieve. I slide off the rest of my clothing, giving myself a slight grin in the bathroom mirror, then stepped into the shower. The hot water felt good on my skin, and the steam surrounding me created a sauna effect. It was like heaven.   
The heat of the water seemed to bring new questions to the surface of my mind. Stupid, selfish questions, but valid questions none the less. Questions dealing with my identity. My personality. My sexuality. Casey contantly rose to the top of my questions list. Could I really stay in that relationship when I had no attraction to him? Breaking up would cause problems, though. Especially since Casey was an Animorph.   
I sighed. I couldn't stay in that relationship. I just couldn't do it, no matter how much I wanted to preserve our friendship. Being in a healthy romantic relationship is as important as anything, and when you're in a romantic relationship that you're uncomfortable with, it can wear on your mind. Like it was doing to me right now.   
I was attracted to girls. I knew that. Despite my mental attraction for women, since I had a male mind, I was becoming physically attracted to them as well. And let me tell you, nothing is as unnerving and strange as the aroused female body. Especially when you've got a male mind. I knew how to take care of arousal in my real body, but in this body, I couldn't find the release valve. The off switch. And I was too scared to look.   
Staying in that relationship would drift over into our lives as Animorphs as well. My judgement would be off. I'd be forced to make tough calls with all that emotional baggage that I didn't want in the first place. I'd end up making the wrong call. Sighing deeply, I reached over and turned off the water, not moving for a towel. I just looked down at my feet. Lousy breasts. They were blocking my view. Why did I have to be a C cup?   
I had been meaning to do something about my relationship troubles for a while, but I'd never gotten up the guts to actually say something. I always figured "Hey, I'll wake up in my own body tomorrow morning". But as the days and weeks went by, the possiblity of that happening seemed less and less likely. I grabbed a towel and started drying off. Today was gonna be the day. I had to do something, I just had to. I was going to break up with Casey. Why did my insides feel like sludge?   
I picked up the clothes that I had set out in my room. A plain white spaghetti strap top, and a pair of black shorts. There wasn't any school today, so I didn't bother with a bra. Those things were uncomfortable and itchy. I slipped on my sandals, and walked downstairs, brushing my hair. I don't know how girls do it. So much hair! My mother was waiting downstairs.   
"Are you ready to go shopping?" She asked. I nodded. I hated shopping, but it seemed like the "girl" thing to do. I know how excited Rachel always was to go shopping. I didn't want to seem out of character. "Ouch, what happened to your legs?" Mom asked. I looked down to the tiny bandaids on my legs. Shaving is hard.   
"I just slipped while I was shaving this morning." I said.   
"Three times?" She inquired. I shrugged. No mom, this was just the first time I've ever shaved my legs, therefor, I'm inexperienced and prone to cuts.   
"That's what happens when you try to shave when you're half asleep." I said with a smile. She smiled back, and led me outside to where the car was already running, to get the air conditioner going. Even though it was late October, the temperature refused to drop. It was still hovering around the mid nineties with humidity at about fifty percent. I hated California sometimes. I got into the car, just as mom settled into the driver seat, and began to drive us toward the mall. I looked out the window aimlessly.   
"I haven't heard from Marcy in a while." Mom said, breaking the silence. Why did it still sound weird to refer to Marco as Marcy? I hadn't spoken the name Marco aloud in two months. Ax, Tobias, Rachel, Cassie either. It was almost like a vacation. A vacation from hell.   
"She's got family things going on." I replied. Mom seemed to buy that, and pulled into the Mall parking lot. Everything looked exactly the same... why was I the only one who noticed that everything was different? When mom parked the car, I stepped out, stretching my back. I followed her inside.   
"I want to check Robinsons May to see if they have any sales going on. Where are you going to be?" She asked me. I looked at her.   
"I'm gonna check out the Gap and the Limited. Then I'll meet you at the food court." I said. She smiled and nodded, and then took off in her own direction. I went the opposite way, looking around at all of the milling people, the kiosque directors, and the mall security guards. I headed into Gamestop. The new Zelda game was coming out soon.   
"Need some help, young lady?" One of the store clerks asked me. I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. I was holding the display box for the new Zelda game. He smiled. "That's a good game. It's about a kid named Link who-" He started. I cut him off instantly.   
"Who's the hero of time, and saves Princess Zelda on numerous occasions, I know. Reviews for this game haven't been as high as they've been in the past, especially considering the huge success of the three previous games, the Windwaker, Majora's Mask, and the Ocarina of Time, which was the first to incoorperate three dimensions into the saga. It wasn't my favorite, though. I liked Windwaker's dynamic lighting and pixelation, personally. Even with that said, I'm not a big Zelda fan. What was the last thing released from Squaresoft?" I asked. The clerk just stared at me, mouth hanging open.   
"Um..." He said, clearing his throat.   
"Squaresoft's last three relases have bottomed out, showing that the company is going in the wrong direction. They need to get back to what made them famous. Games like Chrono Trigger. Now, I'll take Breath of Fire three, and Breath of Fire four." I said, slamming my credit card down on the counter. The clerk didn't say a word. He just took my card, and walked back to get my games. "Lousy clerk.... thinking that I don't know about video games..."  
"Whoa, take a pill Jade." A male voice said. I turned my head to see Ruocco and Casey standing by a Disgaea 2 display board. "I had no idea you knew the first thing about video games. It's not a chick thing." He said. I rolled my eyes.   
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked. Casey took a sip of a cherry icee.   
"Tanya and Marcy wanted to come shopping, and dragged us here. I figured hey, why not pick up a video game?" He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I stiffened instantly.   
"You here shopping?" Ruocco asked.   
"Yeah.... my mom took me here. I figured I'd pick up a few new outfits." I said. Ruocco rolled his eyes.   
"I seriously don't get the obsession girls have with clothes. What's the big hype?" He asked. I smirked. _If you could only remember._ I thought.   
"It's a girl thing." I answered simply. Casey's arm was still around my shoulder when I took the bag and my credit card back from the clerk. I coughed. Ruocco took the hint, and veered off from both of us. "Hey Casey..." I said.   
"Hm?" He asked, looking at me with a smile on his face.   
"We should talk..." I said. I can't believe I was going to do this. I knew what I was about to do, and I knew what it did to guys.   
"What about?" He asked.   
No easy way to do this. No sugar coating. Just get it out in the open. He'll understand, right? No big deal, right? WHy isn't anyone answering me? "I... think we should see other people." I said bluntly. Casey just stared at me.   
"Are you.... breaking up with me...?" He asked. I sighed. I was the biggest jerk in the universe.   
"...Yes..." I answered. What else could I say? It was the truth... I couldn't be with a man....   
"Wh.... wow..." He said, looking to be in shock. I patted his shoulder. He turned to look at me, disbelief still in his eyes. "What did I do?" He asked.   
"You didn't do anything.... I just realized something about myself." I answered honestly.   
"What? What did you realize?" He asked.   
"...That I'm a lesbian." I said. Those words sounded so, so strange coming out of my mouth. But there they were, out in the open. How would Casey react?   
"...Wow." Was all he said. Wow? What was that supposed to mean.   
"...This won't affect our friendship...Or the other thing.... right?" I asked.   
"Of course not. I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything..." He said, trying to put up a strong front. But I could see that he was hurt. And that I was the one that had hurt him.   
I left the mall that night with a new outlook on the world. I wasn't being tied back by a relationship that I didn't want. Leaders have to make tough decisions most of the time, and often, neither situation is positive. But the thing that makes a great leader, is picking one choice, and making it work. Sticking by that decision. Not having any doubts about the decision. I had done that. And time will tell, if I made the right one.

To Be Continued in Chapter Five - "Winter"


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